So, you’ve decided to host an au pair—exciting, right? But also a little nerve-wracking. Whether you’re a first-time host or just curious about what those first few months will look like, it’s completely normal to have a mix of excitement and apprehension. The first 90 days are crucial for setting the tone of the relationship between you, your family, and your au pair. You’re all learning to adjust, so let’s break down what you can expect, how to navigate it, and how to make the most of this experience.
Preparing for Your Au Pair’s Arrival
Before your au pair steps foot in your home, there’s a lot of preparation to do. But don’t worry—it’s nothing too complicated.
First things first: setting up a space for your au pair. Whether it’s a cozy guest room or a small section of the house, having a private space for them is key to making them feel at home. It’s their personal retreat, so make it welcoming—nothing too extravagant, just a place where they can unwind after a busy day.
Next, let’s talk about preparing your family. Your kids will be meeting someone new, and that can bring up all sorts of feelings. If they’re old enough, have an open conversation with them about what to expect. It’s exciting, but it can also be a little intimidating for them, so reassure them that this new family member will be there to help and not replace anyone.
The most important thing to set up before your au pair arrives? Communication. Sit down with your au pair—yes, even before they arrive—and talk about your expectations. What’s the daily routine like? Who’s responsible for what? What are the house rules? This clarity will help prevent misunderstandings later.
Week 1-2: The Adjustment Period
The first couple of weeks are all about adjustment. Not just for your au pair, but for your whole family. It’s a big change, and everyone needs time to settle in.
Expect some bumps in the road during this period, especially if there’s a language barrier or cultural differences. Maybe your au pair is still getting the hang of the language, and that can lead to some funny (or frustrating) moments of miscommunication. Or perhaps they’ll need time to adjust to the pace of life in your home. It’s all part of the learning process.
This is when it’s crucial to start building trust and rapport with your au pair. Get to know each other, share a meal, go on outings, and, most importantly, be patient. For your au pair, this might be their first time away from home for an extended period, and they could be feeling homesick or overwhelmed.
One thing that can help is to set up regular check-ins. These informal chats—whether daily or weekly—can help address concerns early and ensure that both sides are feeling comfortable.
Week 3-6: Settling In
By now, things should start to feel more like routine. Your au pair is settling into your family’s rhythm, and you’re learning how they work best, too.
You’ll want to go over responsibilities again. It’s likely that your au pair has picked up on things by now, but this is a good time to make sure everyone is on the same page. Are they comfortable with their duties? Are there any changes that need to be made? Keeping an open dialogue is crucial to ensure a smooth transition.
During this period, encourage your au pair to step outside of their comfort zone and explore the local community. This could mean taking part in local events, joining meetups, or just getting familiar with the neighborhood. It’s all about helping them feel more at home in their new environment, and it will also help them integrate into your family’s life.
At the same time, don’t forget to enjoy some cultural exchange. Sharing your traditions, food, or just chatting about different customs can enrich everyone’s experience. It’s what makes hosting an au pair so special. Embrace these moments, and remember that the learning goes both ways.
Week 7-12: Strengthening the Relationship
By the time the third month rolls around, things should really be starting to click. Your au pair feels more integrated into your family, and you’re both probably more comfortable with each other.
This is a great time to deepen the bond. Plan a weekend trip, invite them to family celebrations, or have a fun outing together. The more you spend time together outside of regular duties, the better the relationship will be.
Also, this is when you’ll likely see your au pair’s confidence growing. They’re getting more comfortable with their responsibilities, and they might even start to take more initiative in caring for your children or helping with chores.
One of the best things you can do during these months is to give feedback. Both positive and constructive. Let them know what they’re doing well, and if something needs to change, address it in a kind, clear way. The goal is to make sure both sides are happy and that the relationship is growing.
Challenges to Expect in the First 90 Days
Let’s be real—there will be challenges, no matter how well things are going. Navigating cultural differences can sometimes feel like walking on a tightrope, especially when you’re trying to balance everyone’s feelings. Maybe your au pair doesn’t quite understand the unspoken rules of your household, or maybe the kids are having trouble adjusting to a new caregiver.
Emotional adjustments are also part of the process. Both you and your au pair are adjusting to a new routine, and it’s okay to feel some growing pains along the way. There could be moments of frustration or stress, but these can be worked through with open, honest communication.
If you ever find yourself feeling stuck or unsure, don’t forget that you have a support network in place. Many au pair programs, like the Cultural Care Au Pair Program, offer local coordinators and 24/7 assistance, ensuring that you’re not navigating challenges alone.
Tips for Success in the First 90 Days
Here are a few tips to keep things running smoothly during the first 90 days:
- Communicate often: Keep the lines of communication open. Check in regularly to see how your au pair is doing and let them know how you’re feeling, too.
- Set realistic expectations: Don’t expect perfection right away. You and your au pair are both learning, and it takes time.
- Encourage independence: Let your au pair take on more as they feel comfortable. This helps them grow and become more integrated into the family.
- Embrace cultural exchange: Share your traditions and customs. It makes the experience richer for everyone involved.
Hosting an au pair is a journey, but it’s one that can be incredibly rewarding. With a little patience, open communication, and support from resources like your au pair program, the first 90 days can set the foundation for a truly positive experience.